Tuesday, June 8, 2010

If only my will power was as strong as my desire.

I find it interesting how 90% of the time, I can want something so bad that I will make promises and resolutions with myself that I am completely sure I am going to, no, NEED to, follow.I feel completely focused at that moment. Like wild horses couldn't pull me off track. But during that other 10% of the time I can manage to completley sabotage the those very things I want so very bad. Break every promise. Fail every ressolution. And within minutes, I can start the cycle again. I see a woman with the body I want. I hone back in on my desire, and the cycle starts over again.
I am envious over other people's control and/or disinterest with food. I keep waiting for the day I will wake up and suddenly not really care about the chocolate cake and french fries. Seems that I wake up feeling the opposite. I want them MORE! So for now, it would really help if my will power was as strong as my desire.

I have eaten well for two days. Very well. I ran a bit yesterday, and went out for a 8KM run this aft. It has been 9 days since the marathon so I still have some sore muscles, but I have to run. I feel like running is my only hope sometimes.

1 comment:

  1. Desire can be a powerful thing, but the you have to let your head get in there with your heart too.

    It can't be all or nothing. It can't be sabotaging yourself with just one thing and assuming that ruins your entire day. You've got to have some balance.

    So of course you want the damn fries. I think every morning I want the damn fries just as much as before. But there will be moments when you don't want them as much, if you have some balance, where sometimes you have a few fries, but mostly just a pretzel or a salad.

    You're obviously a smart woman, and I know exactly what you mean about never being disinterested in food. Some people say it just becomes like rock for them - never for me. But take your desire, and apply it in your HEAD, with your brain, and you'll soon find the two can be a potent combo for getting what you want.

    Just my thoughts.